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I feel like I have lost my way. 
During the first half of this year I’ve dabbled in EVERYTHING.  Literally, everything. I have done road races and trail races.  I have raced everything from the 5k, to 10Ks, to halfs, a marathon, a very technical trail ultra, and up the most iconic building in NYC. I’ve raced in snow, mud, rocks, rain, subfreezing temps, other states, minimalist shoes, bare-feet.
I tried to do well at EVERYTHING and obviously I failed. No one can do well at everything.
I started looking back and, besides the National Marathon, I have been sucking since the Staten Island Half last October. October!!!Granted, I had broken bones during NYCM, then I was exhausted for the Knickerbocker 60K; I wasn’t ready for the Manhattan Half, I had a fractured foot for the Empire State Building Run Up, I hadn’t done any speed-work for the Coogan’s 5K with all the other stuff happening, I barely recovered from the marathon when I did the Bear Mountain 50K and hadn’t trained in technical trails, and I was still injured from the ultra when, last weekend, I attempted the Brooklyn Half… there was ALWAYS something. Always. I am tired of underperforming, having bad runs, always being tired, or still recovering. This crazy cycle has to stop.
Now that I see it all on paper, it all just looks so stooopid. No one can do every color in the rainbow right and I am not sure why I thought I could. Yes, I still want to do it all; I want to do every single running event on earth. But, if I want to do well, and stop this stooopid insanity, something is going to have to change. Me.And what I have been doing for the last year is just not smart, and it’s obviously it’s not working, and it doesn’t make me happy.
From now on, it’s gonna be Quality over Quantity. And still Fun over Junk Miles or Finish Times, as usual.I am going to pick a favorite distance. Or two. And focus on those.(How do I even pick???). !! (I might need a therapist’s help for this!!!). !!It’ll be hard (impossible?) but I am tired of always being tired.Maybe just 2 races a month. Maybe a total of 20 miles a month in races (unless it’s a marathon).Maybe Age Grading goals (finally going over 70%).Maybe the marathon (Chicago?). And the half. It’s all maybes for now, but I need the change and it seems like the best way to get out of this mess I made. 
 

Ctrl-A Delete Restart

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