Well, there’s not much I can tell you about the marathon because I only saw about 10 second of it from my hotel room. Crap, right?

But I’ll tell you my short story and I promise it won’t be too graphic.

Basically, Juan got to Philly Saturday at noon. We took a picture:

That part was easy. Hello Philly!!! Did I tell you I lived in Philly when I first moved to the US? Right in Center City, 2001 to 2005. Fun years!

We left our stuff (basically every single item of running everything I had) at the Sheraton and went to the expo, also easy, there:

Well. it was about 1 pm and Juan hadn’t run yet, so he had to eat and then wait about 3 hours to run… so we tried to quickly find something around, the Reading Terminal Market was a mess so we ended up at Chilis, which… I had never been at before maybe I jinxed myself?!?!?).

He had a crazy burger and I was planning to carboload super carefully with rice. I EVEN WROTE DOWN EVERYTHING I ATE (never done that before either, another jinx-maybe?). I had two bananas in the morning, then rice by 10 am. So I was all-in with the crazy-careful-planning…

We got back to the hotel. I found there was a Harry Potter Marathon

SERIOUSLY.

I NEVER WANTED TO GET OUTSIDE AGAIN.

I went outside to meet all these friends and the reason why I had picked Philly!

Went back to the hotel. Prepped that flat runner thing people do, which is a LOT of work… I usually just decide in the morning as I am getting dressed. OMG that’s IT, the flat runner jinxed me!!!!!!!!!!!

My stomach started hurting. I was really bloated. I watched some more Harry Potter. Juan left for his run. Also, the wind had picked up. More Harry Potter. Juan told me when he got back it was crazy windy. Harry Potter. My stomach really really hurt. Juan left for his dinner. HARRY POTTER! “Juan, I don’t feel well”.  The ginger ale idea was genius. Two minutes later, I felt it coming back, rushed to the bathroom and vomited SO MUCH. SO MUCH. Everything I had eaten ALL DAY. Everything came back out. The water, the rice, the bananas, the trail mix, the Sprite, everything. Juan told me he’d never seen so much vomit. It was awful. But I felt so happy I had made it to the bathroom.

I calmed down, sat, and felt it again. Again, I made it there on time. LOTS more stuff. UGH, I forgot how painful vomiting is, I hadn’t done that in maybe 10 years, or more? UGH. Awful. I never got that awww feeling you sometimes get after, like all the bad stuff is out and suddenly you feel great. It wasn’t like magic vomit. It was painful, and there was a lot of liquid out. I felt tired and depleted and dehydrated instantly.

More Harry Potter please. Stomachus Reparum!!

My night sleep was a mess. Kept waking up every half hour. I was thirsty has hell, would drink and turn and toss, I was uncomfortable and sore, my bed was too soft, my neck hurt from throwing up. I was an all over mess. At 5 am the alarm finally rescued me from my crappy night. Time to think and make a decision.

Should I run?

Juan was pushed to make a decision and he wasn’t having it “it’s your decision“… “Maybe I can run a few miles and see how I feel..” He was going to be spectating at mile 1 and 6 so those could be good points to assess and decide if I could keep going. I was just scared because I was so dehydrated already. And also had no food in me. Going into a marathon severely deplenished seemed like the stooopidest idea, but I still had trouble letting go. It took about 35 minutes, but I decided it wasn’t my day. Juan agreed. I was mostly scared of passing out on the course. I went back to sleep.

At 7 am, I tried to get to the window to watch the race, and I couldn’t. I was seeing stars and was this close to fainting. I’ve fainted before a few times so now I see it coming (ALWAY SIT DOWN, WHEREVER YOU ARE). Well, glad I didn’t go run then, seems like I made the right decision. I did manage to get up there for about 20 seconds, when I went back to sleep:

Then I saw some more Harry Potter. Then I slept some more. I cried a bit when Harry wasn’t allowed to go to Hogsmeade (just like I couldn’t be running…!). Then I got dressed and checked out at 1. NO MORE HARRY POTTER. Then I slept in the lobby. Then I slept in the bus home (even if Juan was sitting in the noisiest seat ever). Then I slept in the cab. Then I was in my bed. I had 3 teas and 10 maria cookies all day. The rest was nauseating. I slept through the whole day. And I am not an easy sleeper…

It was hard to unpack Monday with no sore legs. It was hard to put away my marathon tshirt with no more race battle on it. It is hard to think of Thanksgiving and my upcoming trip without a long recovery on my marathon legs to achieve. Yesterday, I managed to put away a whole box of graham crackers without feeling disgusted so there’s my achievement. Then I didn’t sleep all night because my stomach hurt.

No medal but a hard learned lesson:

JUST DON’T DO WHAT YOU DON’T WANT TO DO

If you read anything about this marathon or talked to me the last month you know I didn’t want to race a marathon. I didn’t want to. And  it felt wrong to do a marathon “just for the time“. It did. It can be a great reason for other people but to me, marathons were the BEST thing. They are not my distance now, or “for now”. And I pushed myself to it because I thought I could do well. I thought I could PR. But, really, I had zero interest. And every time I force myself to do something I don’t want to do, it ends this way… it never works out. I boycott it somehow. I don’t know yet what caused my stomach problem but I don’t believe in coincidences.

Running is to be enjoyed and celebrated. We do this FOR FUN. Don’t push yourself to do something you don’t want to do like I did. Nerves and fear are ok, disinterest is not.There’s no glory on the other side. If it needs to happen, it’ll happen. When you’re ready.

What’s ahead? Who knows. Food and vacation, when I get my appetite back. Hopefully that’s soon because I am a weak mess right now.

See you on the other side.