That’s just how I have been feeling lately. I don’t have any motivation to go out there in the cold and freeze and suffer. Two days ago, I put my running tights at 8 am and by 3 pm, I took them off and gave up on the run.

The quote is from the movie Rush. If you haven’t seen it, I’d highly recommend you do. It’s about two competitors who are complete opposites (personality-wise) and push each other way further than any of them would have gone on their own. It was amazing. One of them is cold, strategic, all math. The other one is passion-driven, all instinct. I’ll get back to this. This is the full quote: Happiness is your biggest enemy. It weakens you. Puts doubts in your mind. Suddenly you have something to lose!

Lately, the cold has me couped up inside. As you know, I always hated running in the cold. But there was always fun to be had, goals to be fun, places to explore… Lately I’ve been feeling like there’s none of that, and all the fun is had inside. Here’s my minus list:

– One training partner moved away, the other one can’t run. And I don’t like running alone very much.

– I also am not much of a group runner. And Juan is too fast for me to run with.

– I don’t have any exciting goals ahead. I’ve signed up for Boston (out of support mostly) but my heart doesn’t seem to be on the marathon training anymore. I have no short term goal. Also, I am not sure I believe in goals… Still, I need to find a half to focus on.

– I am in semi ok shape, but my running has been lacking so much since the ulcer in July, that all my speed is gone. Every run is WORK. And I hate that.

– It’s cold and dark out and I am too comfy and happy indoors.

No big deal, this happened before, many times, even this year. The big thing is, I just don’t feel like running most days. And the one BIGGER thing is, I don’t feel bad at all about it. It is what it is. I know it will come back. I know I will enjoy it again soon. It’s my thing, I just don’t feel normal without running, it’ll definitely come back!! So I have zero intention to push myself. I would like to give myself a few (more) weeks to do what I feel like and then hopefully it will all come back. I am enjoying this for now. Back to more warmth and relaxation.

PS: do watch Rush if you can and tell me what you think! It’s one of my favorites this year! I am still trying to figure out who of the two of them I am more like!