This is really hard for me to write, acknowledge and also say outloud, but here it goes. I hope it doesn’t sound horrible. But I think I have to say it. Outloud.

I have never ever ever been FITTER. In my life. I am the fastest, lightest, smoothest, efficient I’ve ever been.
Why is that so hard to say? Yes, well, it sounds horrendous to everybody else, but it’s probably because maybe I don’t feel like I deserve it, or that I did enough to get here, or at least enough in everybody else’s eyes… Or something. It’s hard to say. And having had sooo many injuries in the past year, and not PRing for 16 months, this is a huge mental game change.
I just feel it. It’s like the wiriness I felt before the marathon, it’s palpable. And sometimes we feel feit, but there is nothing tangible. There is proof in this case. 
It is not just that I PRed like nothing in Berlin, and felt amazing, great, and in control and no pain.
I also PRed a week before, doing the Fifth Avenue Mile, and it felt effortless, like I was gliding.
My runs since, have been phenomenal. And faster than ever. Even on dirt.
And I really feel it, like I am in some kind of virtual world, where my weight is ok, my endurance is there, where my pace is effortless and efficient…
I never thought I could be in control of what shape I was on. I just run. Some days slow, some days ok. I feel like now have a handle on it what is happening with my body. And I don’t think I’ve done much to create the change, but the change is really palpable. Or that I just can’t believe it and adjust to it.
It’s amazing. I want to write a poem but it would make no sense. I am just going to keep running.


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