In this Cult, things can turn ugly very fast if you are faced with the nonbelievers, the same way it happens with religion or politics.

So, if you are having one of those days when you feel like starting a fight, it is quite simple:

-Talk about PRs, pace, missing toenails, races, strategies, v02 max, age grading, what Kara Goucher was wearing, Pre, logging miles vs times, Centro’s splits, your lactic acid, Nick Symmonds, yassos 800s, and how Boston should adjust their qualifying times, for hours and hours and hours.

-Tell them you don’t want to go out because you can’t eat at that place/don’t want to drink/rather sleep early to run in the morning than spend time with them and how nothing is as fun as running. For hours.

-Eat. Just Eat. They hate it. They hate that we can eat all that. Or, it might convert them, this could also be your most powerful tool when dealing with those people. Food. It’s always the food.

Two things could happen, they’ll eventually get it (or feel jealous of your amazing body, stamina, and good looks!) or they’ll block/delete/unfriend/stop listending to you forever. 

Oh well, worth a shot, right?

Keep pushing, eventually we will win. Mua Hua hua hua huaaaaaaaa

 

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10 responses to “How to piss off EVERY non-Runner!”

  1. Marcelo Eler Avatar
    Marcelo Eler

    You are so mean! hahaha… But you are right… lets put the nonbelievers to run… and also: is always the food!

    Like

    1. emaiuolo Avatar

      haha, super mean!

      Like

  2. Moose Avatar
    Moose

    Dunno… I always eat like a hog, yet I haven’t converted many… :-/

    Like

    1. emaiuolo Avatar

      or you don’t know about it!

      Like

  3. Peg Avatar
    Peg

    Or, “I can’t come to wedding/party/baby shower/reunion THAT weekend; I have a big race!”

    Like

    1. emaiuolo Avatar

      I did two of those RSVPs this morning. Seriously, you’re telling me one month before??? I am already signed up for 6 months!

      Like

  4. wardc1 Avatar
    wardc1

    That TOTALLY works!!! Love it….. wardcarpenter.net

    Like

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