Happiness is Your Biggest Enemy

That’s just how I have been feeling lately. I don’t have any motivation to go out there in the cold and freeze and suffer. Two days ago, I put my running tights at 8 am and by 3 pm, I took them off and gave up on the run.

The quote is from the movie Rush. If you haven’t seen it, I’d highly recommend you do. It’s about two competitors who are complete opposites (personality-wise) and push each other way further than any of them would have gone on their own. It was amazing. One of them is cold, strategic, all math. The other one is passion-driven, all instinct. I’ll get back to this. This is the full quote: Happiness is your biggest enemy. It weakens you. Puts doubts in your mind. Suddenly you have something to lose!

Lately, the cold has me couped up inside. As you know, I always hated running in the cold. But there was always fun to be had, goals to be fun, places to explore… Lately I’ve been feeling like there’s none of that, and all the fun is had inside. Here’s my minus list:

– One training partner moved away, the other one can’t run. And I don’t like running alone very much.

– I also am not much of a group runner. And Juan is too fast for me to run with.

– I don’t have any exciting goals ahead. I’ve signed up for Boston (out of support mostly) but my heart doesn’t seem to be on the marathon training anymore. I have no short term goal. Also, I am not sure I believe in goals… Still, I need to find a half to focus on.

– I am in semi ok shape, but my running has been lacking so much since the ulcer in July, that all my speed is gone. Every run is WORK. And I hate that.

– It’s cold and dark out and I am too comfy and happy indoors.

No big deal, this happened before, many times, even this year. The big thing is, I just don’t feel like running most days. And the one BIGGER thing is, I don’t feel bad at all about it. It is what it is. I know it will come back. I know I will enjoy it again soon. It’s my thing, I just don’t feel normal without running, it’ll definitely come back!! So I have zero intention to push myself. I would like to give myself a few (more) weeks to do what I feel like and then hopefully it will all come back. I am enjoying this for now. Back to more warmth and relaxation.

PS: do watch Rush if you can and tell me what you think! It’s one of my favorites this year! I am still trying to figure out who of the two of them I am more like!

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8 thoughts on “Happiness is Your Biggest Enemy

  1. This post is seriously perfection. I am in the same exact boat right now!! I woke up today with plans to run 7 miles… then i talked myself down to just a few just to get out of bed.. then i went back to sleep for 3 hours! and i woke up feeling no regret. its kind of sad to wish i felt regretful, but yeah no motivation right now. i, too, know it will come back so maybe that’s why we aren’t so worried. it seems like every year winter becomes harder and harder to survive! it would be a lot easier if i had running buddies but i really don’t! no one i know wants to run at 6 or 7 am and its the only time i can! heres hoping our motivation returns on Wednesday 😉

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    • I am sure a lot of us are on the same boat, so don’t feel like you’re the weirdo!!! People just don’t say it outloud. Look, most of the elites runner take a whole month off or two weeks after their goal race, and we all know we need a break to top off our tanks and start in better shape. So, chalk it up to that! mental burnout is a huge thing and if you push yourself when you’re saying a big lazy NO, I think we pay a huge price later. No regrets!

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  2. I have really felt like this since my marathon 3 weeks ago..after being so consumed by it for 9 months, it was just OVER. No more carrot dangling in front of me, and suddenly I was way too happy to just stay in bed rather than get up at 5:00 am to run! Maybe I subconsciously feel like I deserve a break, or maybe I’m missing my mojo since I don’t have any big goals coming up soon…or maybe just lazy… :/ Whatever it is, I’m going to roll with it for a little bit…

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  3. Winter running is rough, but it has been pretty warm. I have been trying to go hard when its nice out, and slack off slightly when it is miserable outside. It feels good to be in shape when the spring rolls around. Good luck!

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  4. All psychoanalyzing aside, if I had to run in freezing in NYC I’d be lacking on my runs as well! Enjoy the time off and do other things you enjoy, fitness related or not… I’m sure there’s a bunch of unmissable sales aright about now!

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  5. Today we have the last day of the year.Tomorrow a new year starts with alot of new exciting running events.We should start it slowly.Greetings from europe and happy new year!

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  6. Pingback: 2013. A LOT of stuff. Amazing Year! | runningandthecity

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